Alone
by Castieldelic
Summary: Near starts a journal, under Rodger's instruction. His entries had started to run dry, but then he meets someone new. Not as crappy as this sounds. Discontinued, I'm sorry.
1. Chapter 1

What's up my lovebiscuits? This is that story that I referred to in all that sparkles. Oh, and I've realized that I need to **SPACE OUT MY STORIES!** I see why someone called it stupid now. Sorry! Oh and by the way, you have to HAVE TO _**HAVE TO **_review :3 just check the bottom. Well, enjoys!

**I don't own Death Note**

OH WAIT! BEFORE I FORGET! Near becomes ooc I'm really sorry :0 and here comes the hate mail

Alone. Chapter 1

Alone. That's what I've been for as long as I can remember. I have been instructed to start a journal to somehow "vent to something". Not that I need to. I have nothing to vent. But anyway, I am Nate River, otherwise known as Near. The smartest person in the Whammy's house, and just as shunned as any other "nerd". Overflowing with power, and yet, completely powerless. Bad social life. Very bad, actually. As much as a watermelon. Knowing everything, but sharing nothing. Only the tests listen to me. Well, I guess that's all I can really start this off with right now. It's getting late, and I must study.

~Near

Ah. Wow. This looks like serious crap. But I'm currently writing on chapter five, and I going to need at least 3-4 reviews, and it's not counting Stefan's (sorry bud). Alrighty. So, you see that button? You do? Do you want to hit it and review? You do? That's great! Yay!

-Markey


	2. Hello Nice to meet you, stranger

Hullo! Thankies for the reviews, guys! I love you! Anyway, this is chappie 2. This one is taking a new twist. I hope you enjoy this!

**I don't own Death Note.**

Alone. Chap 2

Um, hello again, Journal. Today, I think I might have something to talk about. Today, a new kid named Mail Jeevas enrolled today.

He has black goggles, with red wine hair and emerald green eyes that match his braces. When everyone was finally settled, we all just sat there, speechless. He was mainly ridiculed by the older children, and snickered at by the ones that were my age, but I just sent him a blank face. When our eyes met, my breath hitched. When he flashed me a smile (that's how I know he has braces), I think my heart stopped. I don't get out much, and I haven't exactly had time to question my own sexuality, but I can't exactly say that I'm straight. But maybe I'm not gay. Hey, who really cares? But I nev-

"Hi. Woah, did I scare you? You just almost jumped 50 feet in the air!"

Near heard this strange but calming voice behind him. "Oh, hello." He replied, swivelling around in his chair.

He was surprised to see what he saw. Mr. Mail, right in his doorway.

He smiled, and Near's mind screamed "PRAISE OOHLAH!" "Hello. I'm Near."

"No, you're far, far away. Like Star Wars." Matt giggled. "I think I'm your new roommate. It looks comfy here. I'm Matt, but you can call me Matt."

Matt.

Near almost screamed in ecstasy when it came out of his mouth and rolled off his tongue.

"Hi. Matt. You can call me Near." He was rambling on and off, almost repeating the same lines.

Matt walked over and sat next to Near on the floor. "So, you like toys, huh?" He asked, taking a closer look at all the toys spread around the room.

"Huh? Oh, m-yea." He replied, grabbing a rubber duck.

"Oh, cool. I like games, like electronics."

Matt replied, watching Near as he turned it on and moved it around.

"Ding ding ding ding." The supper bell rang. "C'mon." Near replied,

"Let's go get something to eat."

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><p>AN: Wow. This looks so much like a serious case of WRITER'S BLOCK. Holy. Fucking. Shiz. This one OBIVIOUSLY wasn't that great, but I'll need at least 5 reviews... c'mon it's not like I'm asking you to rob a jewellery store. And no, those 3 from Stefan do not count. I don't know why he did that. It's fucking annoying. But, I really do hope you Rate and Review. And Stefan, yours aren't really that necessary and I'm still thinking about actually counting them, because I see you almost everyday and you text me everyday _

-Markey


	3. I'll be with you, through the night

**A/N:** Hi you guys! T.T Sorry this is such a late update for this story, I had started a new one, and we had end of the year finals, and all this other crap exploded. Oh, and I lost my flash drive... I hope to find it soon. Anyway, please enjoy chapter 3! Sorry about all the crappy and cheesy chapter names...

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: I'll be here for you, all the night...(bad translation by a bad translator) <strong>

Dear loving journal,

I haven't been rejecting you, I've just been busy. The finals are next week, and I've been studying hard. Matthew, or Matt, has been a loyal friend, and a great roommate. He is seemingly addicted to smoking Smarties. I hope that doesn't turn into a bad habit later on. He loves his video games, and doesn't take a long time in the shower. It's obvious from the start that he cares about me, but I don't think that I'm the same way. I think that I'm more than that towards him. Anyway, he likes to make conversation with me, and he loves to smile whenever I'm around him. He always gives me goose bumps when I see it. Yes, yes, I've realized that I sound like some horrible stalker. But it doesn't really seem to bother him. Maybe it's the fact he doesn't know. I think I might want to keep it that way. Ah, Matt's back, and I don't want him to know.

~Near

He quickly put his journal in his safe spot, and turned to face Matt. He didn't have his normal cheery smile. Instead, he wore a flushed face and red eyes. Near instantly sprang up from his small chair to go comfort the tiny boy. "Matt... Did something happen?" Near gently whispered, giving Matt a small hug. "N-nothing," He stuttered back, in a gentle, shaky, whisper. "Matthew, please tell me what's bothering you." He pleaded, desperate to find his troubles.

Matt launched up off the bed and ran into their shared bathroom. Near wanted to follow him, but decided not to. He climbed over to Matt's side of the room, throwing himself onto his bed. His small hands fished around his bed, looking for anything that would trigger Matt's depression. Underneath his pillow, he found a picture of a teenage girl, a woman that looked like she could be his mother, and a small child that looked much like Matthew.

"This must be his family..." Near muttered, turning the picture to its backside. It read: **Marie Jeevas: May 18****th****, 1972 – June 23, 1998. Jennie Jeevas: November 27****th**** - ? Mail Jeevas: February 1****st****, 1992.**

Near's eyes started to burn as he studied the picture. He slowly put the pieces together as he thought aloud. " His mum is dead...He isn't as young as I thought he was...W-wow..." Near whispered, a tear rolling down his left cheek. He heard soft sniffling coming from inside the bathroom.

Near quietly stepped over and gently knocked on the door three times. A gentle three knocks replied. "Matthew...I'm really sorry about your loss...I'm here if you need me, okay?" Near whispered, crouching by the door. "O-okay, Near." He replied, weakly. Near had a feeling this would be a long night for the two of them.

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><p><strong>AN: **I didn't exactly know how to weave it in, (my brain's off, it's 3:25am) but when I wrote this, it was April 18th, and I just picked the day I would put it on, (which was supposed to be May 18th) making it Matt's mother's birthday, and making him sad. Well, I hope you enjoyed chapter 3! Please review, and tell someone about this story! Oh, and for the heads up, the next chapter came out about 3 or 4 notebook pages long, (college bound, lol random) so it should be longer than this one's 467 words. Wow, I think I used a bit too many parentheses in this... Thanks again for reading!

~Markey


	4. I didn't know it would be this hard

**A/N: **Hi you guys~! Sorry about the late update. I've been role-playing on Facebook a bit too much. Anywhoo, this is the 4th chapter to Alone. This one is much longer, as promised to you guys. Thank you, Wrinkleywhale, for your helpful review. It meant alot to me. And thanks again shinigamiconnections for your help also. I can't seem to but thank you enough. I'm going to keep this Author's note short :3.

I don't own Desu Noto. If I did, Matt and Mello wouldn't die. Enough said amirite?

**Chapter 4: I didn't know it would be this hard...**

Journal. Yesterday was full of sobbing. I sat there, playing the knocking game with him, until he gently opened the door and climbed into my arms, wanting to sleep. I gently laid him in his bed and turned to go to my own, but he tugged at my sleeve. I sat down as he gently scooted over. I relaxed, watching the smaller boy as he slept. He looks so much at peace when he's sleeping. I barely got any sleep last night from watching over him, but at this moment, I don't really care.

~Near

Near sighed, taking a long look around the room he and Matt shared. It had become messy from the previous night. Mindless papers were scattered everywhere, the beds had become just a heap of pillows and blankets... All for him. Near hid his diary and turned his gaze to Matt. He was still in a deep sleep, but he looked much more like himself than yesterday. Near stood and decided to play "housemaid". He picked up everything he could at that moment, making sure not to wake Matt.

"Ah, I guess I'll have to vacuum later, when he wakes..." Near thought, sitting on his squeaky bed. A gentle yawn entered the room as a tired Matt tried his best to stretch his stiff muscles.

"Hey Matt... Did I wake you...?" Near whispered.

"Maybe... C'mere, and sit by me, please?" Matt replied, sitting up. Near gently tiptoed to the other side of the room, sitting in front of Matt.

"W-well, I just wanted to say... Thank you... For um, everything..." Matt's voice trailed, his eyes becoming shiny with tears. Near leaned in and gave Matt a reassuring hug. When they broke apart from the embrace, Near has this weird, bubbly feeling. Matt gazed into his eyes. He caught the glance, staring back. They sat there for a while, the only noise and movement being their breathing.

"I...I really like you... Matt..." Near confessed, breaking the silence. His face turned a slight rose, and he broke the eye contact with Matt. He felt as if the world was falling down on him. Matt just shot him a legendary grin. The two stood still, and their breathing mixed once again.

Near's breathing quickened as hormones attacked the older boy. Near leaned in, their lips gently brushing together. Matt could feel Near's hot breath on his cheek, making a slight noise close to a groan.

"N-Near...I...I'm not..."

"Oh no...I'm really sorry...I don't think...No, I wasn't thinking at all." Near was on the verge of tears. He had just burnt, smashed, and danced on the grave of the only bridge he has ever built.

Matt sat up once again, lashing a no-teeth smile to Near. A simple tear found its way down Near's cheek. He felt horrible.

"Near, it's not what I-"

"Please Matt, I get it."

Near got up, walking to his own bed. The room was silent, other than an occasional sniffle from Near's side of the room. Matt quickly walked over to Near, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"M-Matt, please... I'm sorry for what I did. Please, forget we ever had this day, okay?" Near said in a shaky voice.

"Why would I want to forget today...? It could be... The best time that I've ever had." Matt whispered into Near's ear. Matt pulled back to see Near's face. He was speechless, his mouth gaped open like a fish.

"Matt... After all we're been through, not just tonight, but from the three months that I've known you... I think... Ithink I might have fallen in love with you, Matthew. I know, you're just about as startled as I am. But I just... I needed to confess that to you. I'll understand if you never want to talk to me ever again... But please, say something..." Near whispered.

"Something. I hope you really mean this... Because I think I'm in love with you, too. I know, I've never really shown it and all, but I care deeply for you. It just blossomed into something more, I guess." Matt replied, also keeping his voice low.

Near looked astonished. They had both confessed they LOVED each other. They were fighting the urge to just let their lips me, just this once. But neither of them knew if the other really wanted to.

Matt made the first move. "H-hey, close your eyes for a moment, okay?"

Near obeyed. He heard Matt take two deep breaths, and he felt soft, lightly moist, smooth lips pressed against his own. Near didn't dare to open his eyes. Matt's lips were gently quivering, unsure what to do. Matt opened one eye to see how Near was doing with the kiss. He was a red as a watermelon, but he looked calm, and satisfied. He decided to kick it up a notch, but Near had beat him to the punch, snaking his tongue out to meet Matt's lower lip.

Matt slowly opened his mouth, inviting Near's tongue inside. Matt tasted of Smarties and cough drop. Near of strawberry frosting. Matt muttered a small moan as the kiss intensified. Near's hands began to travel all around Matt's body beneath him. His hand slowly made its way under Matt's shirt, but he didn't get past the navel, with Matt breaking the kiss.

"I'm...I'm sorry, about the hand-play... Emotions kind of took over..." Near panted, trying to catch his breath.

Matt smiled once again, this time showing his braces.

"Near, do you really want to do this?" He asked, snuggling up against his new "boyfriend".

"Of course Matt, why? Is something wrong with it...?" Near replied, reaching for the other boy's hand.

"It's just that...I don't want you to feel rushed in any way, got it? You tell me if I go too fast." Matt replied, a warm smile spreading across his face as he intertwined Near's fingers with his own.

"D-do you want this to be... A relationship...?" Near asked, turning rose and avoiding Matt's gaze.

"Hey, it's your own choice. You look really cute when you blush, you know." Matt smiled.

"Hell, why not?" Near grinned, pulling Matt into another deep kiss.

**A/N: **Hey you guys, again, lulz. I'm sorry again for the late update, and the horrible way this chapter was written. It's 2am. That's my excuse. And I have stuff to do later today. But I did it, this chapter's like 1,026 words! Yay~! I told you that I wouldn't go back on that promise. I'm sorry if the kiss scence was horrible, I had to take off my glasses. LOLZ ANYWAY, for those wondering about my other story, I'll update that one later today, because if I start on it right now, I swear I won't get any sleep. You can go ahead and shoot me now :U I've also been pretty busy, helping out people with stories and grammar lessons and all that jazz, so don't be afraid to hit meh up :3 Reviews are one of my favourite things to see in my mailbox, just so you know. I think I might show this story to my fellow RP'ers. I think they might just gun me down for writing a Matt/Near fic, but too bad. Thanks again for reading~

~Markey


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